Like any other waste fellow on this earth, I'm also an engineer and I struggled (luckily only for) four years to get that degree in Information Technology, a new branch of engineering/technology that was fast evolving then. Even today I cannot make out the difference between this and one another branch, "Computer Science" except that we studied one subject in odd semester and they studied the same subject in even semester.
My college life was pathetic, I should say, for the staff lecturers who were coming to my class, just because of the only fact that I and MY GANG were there. Please don't go by the word GANG. It did not consist of any frauds or dacoits. It just consisted of a few students who realized soon enough that the tortures that their lecturers gave in the name of classes, were not worth to be endured any more. The cardinality of the gang was not so big but it was just four of us in the last bench and a few joining the gang and moving out on and off.
Of us four, I was the one who was the most careless and was obviously the least scorer in the exams. One other guy would be always with me except during the exam times. He will be having interest in studies at least during the exams. There was one other guy who was still in the gang but was watching things from a safe distance while they are happening. The final and the ultimate person, rather, the scape goat was the guy who will sincerely take notes of all the classes, listen to or at least act as though he listens to all the classes and has earned a very good name in my department. He was the story-teller of the entire class or even entire department rather.
Anyway I never bothered to listen to him often until and unless the subject was too much of theory. I would not do self-study either. Leaving that apart, having me in classes proved more often than not, to be a hindrance for the lecturers to carry on with their classes. I was not only ignoring what they were saying but also was passing suitable comments in the places where they paused and were expecting some interaction from the students. So as a safety measure, most of the lecturers ensure that I was not in the class either by myself or by sending me out.
Attendance was not a problem for me. After all for such a big help I was doing them by leaving the class room, they were grateful enough to give me attendance for that class. One day it was the first class for a new lecturer for the subject Simple Network Management Protocol (SNMP), so she did not bother to send me out. She was continuing her lecture with out stopping for me to pass a comment. I was becoming impatient and could not tolerate that any more. I wanted to go out of the class immediately and GOD was so great that my most expected moment came.
She was talking about the delayed packets in the network and she was telling, "To make the network free from delayed packets, it is not enough only if you KILL the delayed packets in the network, but you should also.....?". There she gave a pause and was expecting some answers from the students. Suddenly my face brightened up and she too saw that and she was pointing to me and asked me to give the answer that she was expecting. I stood up and immediately every one in the class started laughing for they knew that I was going to tell some thing definitely other than the answer.
I thanked GOD for giving me this opportunity and cleared my throat and told the answer, "YOU SHOULD ALSO KILL THE PERSON WHO SENT THOSE PACKETS!!!".
Five minutes later I was a free bird roaming around the college and having tea in the canteen. Even now I do not know what is the right answer for that!!!
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Logical And Legal
This is one of the humorous piece of text that I have come across. So I thought of putting it to my posts in this blog.
Here the story goes......
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student
goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you
can
give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you
however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam.
"
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and
neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give
the
student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as
agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the
same
question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35
year
old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old
lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given
your
wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither
legal, nor logical.
Here the story goes......
After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student
goes and confronts his lecturer about it.
Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you
can
give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you
however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam.
"
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and
neither logical, nor legal?"
Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give
the
student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as
agreed.
Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the
same
question.
He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35
year
old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old
lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given
your
wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither
legal, nor logical.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Even My Driver Can Explain!!
This is a real incident that happened in the life of one of the greatest scientists of the millennium - Albert Einstein. That was the time when Einstein had discovered the theory of relativity (i.e) the apparently simple equation 'E = mc^2'. So Einstein wanted to explain it to as many people as possible and he set out a trip to near by places, and everywhere he was on stage explaining his theory of relativity.
He usually went with his driver who was over fed with the knowledge of theory of relativity, as he would have heard that wantedly or unwantedly all the times Einstein was giving the presentation. Seeing the respect and welcome that Einstein got in the places where-ever he went to explain his theory of relativity, the driver wanted to taste that feeling for some time.
So before they went for the next place to give his presentation, his driver told Einstein that he would be Einstein for that place and asked Einstein to take the role of the driver for this place alone. It was not so difficult for his driver to impersonate Einstein as it was the time when people knew only the name 'Einstein' but have not seen him. Einstein was a bit hesitant to do that as there would be questions he would have to answer, but his driver was so interested in doing this and so he told Einstein that he would take care of anything that comes out of this.
Einstein thought for a while and he also agreed to try it out, having a gut feeling in his mind that his driver is going to be in a difficult situation when questions arise during the presentation. The place came and the driver got out as Einstein from the back seat and Einstein was driving the car. The driver got a great welcome and he went on to the stage to start explaining theory of relativity. He went on with such a flow that even Einstein was surprised about his way of explaining. It was as exact as it would be if Einstein himself had explained it.
The situation that Einstein was expecting for, came very soon when one of them in the crowd raised his hand for a question. Einstein was eagerly waiting for some question to come out but the driver who was acting as Einstein told that person all the questions will be answered at the end. So Einstein had to wait till the end of the presentation and that person in the crowd again raised his hand for a question.
The driver asked him to proceed with his question. He too asked a question. The driver was thinking for a while and the entire hall was so silent. Though Einstein was enjoying the situation, he also had a fear that his name will be spoiled if his driver did not answer the question. He did not know what to do. After a few seconds of thought, the driver, with out hesitation, told this,
"I thought you are going to ask some thing that is really worth ME answering. For this question EVEN MY DRIVER CAN EXPLAIN THE ANSWER!!" Saying this he called Einstein to the stage and made him answer the question after which the driver got a big round of applause. Einstein was very happy to have such a thoughtful driver who could manage the situation neatly.
He usually went with his driver who was over fed with the knowledge of theory of relativity, as he would have heard that wantedly or unwantedly all the times Einstein was giving the presentation. Seeing the respect and welcome that Einstein got in the places where-ever he went to explain his theory of relativity, the driver wanted to taste that feeling for some time.
So before they went for the next place to give his presentation, his driver told Einstein that he would be Einstein for that place and asked Einstein to take the role of the driver for this place alone. It was not so difficult for his driver to impersonate Einstein as it was the time when people knew only the name 'Einstein' but have not seen him. Einstein was a bit hesitant to do that as there would be questions he would have to answer, but his driver was so interested in doing this and so he told Einstein that he would take care of anything that comes out of this.
Einstein thought for a while and he also agreed to try it out, having a gut feeling in his mind that his driver is going to be in a difficult situation when questions arise during the presentation. The place came and the driver got out as Einstein from the back seat and Einstein was driving the car. The driver got a great welcome and he went on to the stage to start explaining theory of relativity. He went on with such a flow that even Einstein was surprised about his way of explaining. It was as exact as it would be if Einstein himself had explained it.
The situation that Einstein was expecting for, came very soon when one of them in the crowd raised his hand for a question. Einstein was eagerly waiting for some question to come out but the driver who was acting as Einstein told that person all the questions will be answered at the end. So Einstein had to wait till the end of the presentation and that person in the crowd again raised his hand for a question.
The driver asked him to proceed with his question. He too asked a question. The driver was thinking for a while and the entire hall was so silent. Though Einstein was enjoying the situation, he also had a fear that his name will be spoiled if his driver did not answer the question. He did not know what to do. After a few seconds of thought, the driver, with out hesitation, told this,
"I thought you are going to ask some thing that is really worth ME answering. For this question EVEN MY DRIVER CAN EXPLAIN THE ANSWER!!" Saying this he called Einstein to the stage and made him answer the question after which the driver got a big round of applause. Einstein was very happy to have such a thoughtful driver who could manage the situation neatly.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Use Your Brain
I did not have breakfast and started to office. I usually take a route that is not with much traffic. On the way, I usually find people selling tender coconuts on bicycles and today also I saw one person selling tender coconuts and stopped by his side to get one. I parked my bike in side-stand as I knew it would take only a few minutes to drink the coconut water and start form there. So the bike was parked slanting a little.
I pointed to a larger coconut in his bicycle and asked the coconut seller to give me that coconut. He told it would cost me 12 rupees. I asked him the reason for the increase by 2 rupees and he told me it was because the coconut was larger. I did not want to argue with him and I just expressed my dissatisfaction about the price and asked him to give that same coconut.
There was a small boy who was standing next to me and watching me getting the coconut and drinking the water. After drinking the coconut water, I gave the coconut seller, the shell, to break it for me to eat the coconut inisde. I saw this boy watching me for a long time and I thought he would want a coconut and asked him whether he wanted to drink one. He shook his head in a way meaning he did not want.
I did not ask the boy out of generosity. I asked him because, I have heard people saying 'If you make a person watch while you are eating, you will get stomach ache'. So I did not want any stomach aches :) . Through this I just wanted to inform God, that I was not the one who is not giving the coconut to the boy, but it was the boy himself who declined the offer I made, so that God would not give me any stomach aches.
While I was eating the coconut, the coconut seller asked me to give him the money so that he need not wait for me and he could go on with his job. I was having the cocnut shell in my hand and I was searching a place to keep it. I could not keep it on my bike seat for it was slanting. So I just pushed down the helmet lock that was fit to the seat handle in the back, and tried to keep it next to it so that the lock would save it from falling down.
I could not fit the shell in the available place even though i tried the same for two three times. Then the seller suggested me to pull the lock upwards and keep the shell under the lock. I had a doubt whether that will work but tried it and it worked. So after keeping the shell there, I took out my hand kerchief to wipe my hand to take out my purse.
By the time I took out my kerchief, the coconut seller sarcastically smiled and said, "Abhi thoda dimaag bhi kaam karna padega sir!!" ("Now your brain also should work a little sir!!" - for those who can't understand this Hindi statement). After he told this, I was looking at him and looking at myself. I was wondering how this could have happened. A person who (looks like) does not even know how a school campus would look like, is advising a person who had 14 years of education in school from K.G , 4 years of PROFESSIONAL education in an engineering college, and a few years of job in a software company, to use his brain. I could not tell anything in reply and I was laughing inside, thinking about the funny part of the incident.
I pointed to a larger coconut in his bicycle and asked the coconut seller to give me that coconut. He told it would cost me 12 rupees. I asked him the reason for the increase by 2 rupees and he told me it was because the coconut was larger. I did not want to argue with him and I just expressed my dissatisfaction about the price and asked him to give that same coconut.
There was a small boy who was standing next to me and watching me getting the coconut and drinking the water. After drinking the coconut water, I gave the coconut seller, the shell, to break it for me to eat the coconut inisde. I saw this boy watching me for a long time and I thought he would want a coconut and asked him whether he wanted to drink one. He shook his head in a way meaning he did not want.
I did not ask the boy out of generosity. I asked him because, I have heard people saying 'If you make a person watch while you are eating, you will get stomach ache'. So I did not want any stomach aches :) . Through this I just wanted to inform God, that I was not the one who is not giving the coconut to the boy, but it was the boy himself who declined the offer I made, so that God would not give me any stomach aches.
While I was eating the coconut, the coconut seller asked me to give him the money so that he need not wait for me and he could go on with his job. I was having the cocnut shell in my hand and I was searching a place to keep it. I could not keep it on my bike seat for it was slanting. So I just pushed down the helmet lock that was fit to the seat handle in the back, and tried to keep it next to it so that the lock would save it from falling down.
I could not fit the shell in the available place even though i tried the same for two three times. Then the seller suggested me to pull the lock upwards and keep the shell under the lock. I had a doubt whether that will work but tried it and it worked. So after keeping the shell there, I took out my hand kerchief to wipe my hand to take out my purse.
By the time I took out my kerchief, the coconut seller sarcastically smiled and said, "Abhi thoda dimaag bhi kaam karna padega sir!!" ("Now your brain also should work a little sir!!" - for those who can't understand this Hindi statement). After he told this, I was looking at him and looking at myself. I was wondering how this could have happened. A person who (looks like) does not even know how a school campus would look like, is advising a person who had 14 years of education in school from K.G , 4 years of PROFESSIONAL education in an engineering college, and a few years of job in a software company, to use his brain. I could not tell anything in reply and I was laughing inside, thinking about the funny part of the incident.
Friday, February 15, 2008
My Son Died
I met the doctor and was waiting for my test reports to come. There was an old lady in her early 60s lying on a bench in the clinic. She was obviously moaning of some pain. My mom was sitting next to me in a chair. The old lady some how managed to get up and sit, with some difficulty. She looked at me and asked me the time. I told her the time and she told that she wanted to catch the bus that goes to her place, on time.
She then told why she was there to meet the doctor. She was stung by a scorpion on her right toe, and after taking some first aid, she had gone to a local doctor in her place. He had given her some tablet which was not doing its job on her. So she had come down to meet this doctor. Seeing her condition, my mom asked her why did she come alone. Her face turned sadder than before and she started to tell her story, fixing her eyes on the floor.
"I have 3 sons. They were caring for me a bit before their marriage and after their marriage, i have become worthless to them. The first two sons don't even remember or don't even want to remember that their mother is still alive. My last son is the one who was affectionate with me and my bad luck he passed away recently, leaving his wife and one year old son. I asked 200 Rupees from my sons for the treatment and for that they were fighting with each other to make the other give the money. Finally each of them were kind enough to give me some money which when put together came up to 180 Rupees. Still 20 Rupees short of what I asked for my TREATMENT.".
Telling this, she almost broke down to tears, and looked at my mother and asked, "Now you tell me which of them should I have taken with me?". I felt very sorry for the lady and I was extremely angry over her sons. She then continued, "The doctor has prescribed medicines for 4 days and I have money only to buy for 2 days. Now I have remaining 10 Rupees for the bus to go to my place." Saying this, she managed to get up and walked out of the clinic with great difficulty. After she left I told my mom that she could have given the old lady some money so that she could have had food outside. My mom told that she also felt the same but then the lady was already out of the clinic. I guessed that the lady could not have walked too far so I went outside to find her if possible, and give her some money.
Luckily she was sitting outside the clinic, so I rushed back in and told my mom that she is outside the clinic and asked my mom to give her some money. My mom went out and found her sitting on a stone outside and handed her some money. She took the money.
When my mom was about to turn and get back in to the clinic, the old lady sighed and said, "Hmmmmm...... I too was helping others like this and MY SON DIED!!" I could not stop laughing at those words but my mom's face turned angry and she immediately came into the clinic as she was very sentimental. She was telling me later that she will not be helping any one in her life hence forth. :)
She then told why she was there to meet the doctor. She was stung by a scorpion on her right toe, and after taking some first aid, she had gone to a local doctor in her place. He had given her some tablet which was not doing its job on her. So she had come down to meet this doctor. Seeing her condition, my mom asked her why did she come alone. Her face turned sadder than before and she started to tell her story, fixing her eyes on the floor.
"I have 3 sons. They were caring for me a bit before their marriage and after their marriage, i have become worthless to them. The first two sons don't even remember or don't even want to remember that their mother is still alive. My last son is the one who was affectionate with me and my bad luck he passed away recently, leaving his wife and one year old son. I asked 200 Rupees from my sons for the treatment and for that they were fighting with each other to make the other give the money. Finally each of them were kind enough to give me some money which when put together came up to 180 Rupees. Still 20 Rupees short of what I asked for my TREATMENT.".
Telling this, she almost broke down to tears, and looked at my mother and asked, "Now you tell me which of them should I have taken with me?". I felt very sorry for the lady and I was extremely angry over her sons. She then continued, "The doctor has prescribed medicines for 4 days and I have money only to buy for 2 days. Now I have remaining 10 Rupees for the bus to go to my place." Saying this, she managed to get up and walked out of the clinic with great difficulty. After she left I told my mom that she could have given the old lady some money so that she could have had food outside. My mom told that she also felt the same but then the lady was already out of the clinic. I guessed that the lady could not have walked too far so I went outside to find her if possible, and give her some money.
Luckily she was sitting outside the clinic, so I rushed back in and told my mom that she is outside the clinic and asked my mom to give her some money. My mom went out and found her sitting on a stone outside and handed her some money. She took the money.
When my mom was about to turn and get back in to the clinic, the old lady sighed and said, "Hmmmmm...... I too was helping others like this and MY SON DIED!!" I could not stop laughing at those words but my mom's face turned angry and she immediately came into the clinic as she was very sentimental. She was telling me later that she will not be helping any one in her life hence forth. :)
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